


Hellfire

by TheAuthorAgain



Series: Short Stucky Fics [5]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Cute Ending, First Kiss, Getting Together, God Loves the Gays, Internalized Homophobia, It's short but sweet and well written so fucking read this shit, M/M, POV Bucky Barnes, Pre-Canon, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Pre-World War II Bucky Barnes, cute everything let's be real
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-17 23:42:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28733652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheAuthorAgain/pseuds/TheAuthorAgain
Summary: It's cold in New York, it's cold in the apartment, and it's cold between Steve and Bucky. But hopefully not for long.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Series: Short Stucky Fics [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2093415
Comments: 3
Kudos: 64





	Hellfire

**Author's Note:**

> Anonymous tumblr user request: "pre war stucky in the same bed bc it's winter and Steve is always freezing without Bucky there"  
> Hope this fits what you were looking for! :)

Winter. Every year it found their small apartment, buried itself in the chilly floors and brisk air of their humble but happy home. Every year, Steve got sick. Every year, Bucky got worried. This was the way.

It was tradition in the household to share a bed during those winter months, as many did when the cold grew too great for pride. Hard to be ashamed of sharing a bed when the alternative was losing your toes. Every year, Bucky crawled into Steve's bed on cold nights to keep his frail friend from getting ill. But this year...this year was different.

It had started months before the first cold front, with lingering gazes that often happened upon one another's lips. This was unacceptable, of course, Bucky knew it. He _knew_ it, yet he couldn't look away.

He thought Steve saw him too, appreciated when he took his shirt off or splayed out in a flattering position. But, for all his coquetry and brash fronts, Bucky was timid. He was insecure, unsure if his eyes and mind were deceived by that sick heart in his chest. So it never went further than glances.

At first.

Bucky was ill, insatiable. Though he knew he defied God every time, brought disgrace to his name and his family, Bucky started holding hugs a little longer. Started brushing their hands together, making any excuse he could to touch Steve.

He _hated_ himself for it. God, there weren't words for how disgusted he was, how much he wished that dames looked half as nice as Stevie did on those early mornings when his angular features were softly painted by the light of the sunrise. But they never did, nothing and no one ever compared to the little blond fella who could never feel the same.

But the questioning, the doubt. Steve never pulled away from his touches. In fact, sometimes he initiated them, too. Rosy cheeks became a common accessory for Steve, which didn't help stop Bucky's evil and delicious thoughts. He couldn't help but imagine all the ways he could make his friend blush, all the ways he could bite and tease and kiss and-

And he knew it was bad. He knew it, but he couldn't stop. As winter began sinking its teeth into the helpless city, Bucky Barnes knew that he was in far too deep.

With a kiss, he went deeper.

Bucky remembered that day with vivid detail. He didn't have to work, for once, and had decided to treat Steve to a day out. The fall breeze was harsh, but Bucky wrapped up his friend in as many scarves as possible, despite Steve's protests.

"Buck, I'm fine!" Steve complained, "You don't gotta baby me so much."

Bucky, wearing nothing but a light jacket and beanie, simply smirked. "Just don't want you to catch cold, Stevie. 'Sides, you look cute all bundled up. C'mon, the theater's only a block away!"

Steve tried to hide his blush as he scurried after Bucky, following him into the relieving warmth of the heated building. They found seats easily, having shown up early, and settled in the dead center of the theater. "Prime spots," Bucky always said, "Anywhere else is saved for procrastinators and fools."

They chatted quietly as the theater started to fill up with people anxious to watch the cartoon. It passed in a blur, and Bucky couldn't help but watch Steve's face seamlessly show his emotions. Rogers was always an open book, but especially during movies. Steve looked over and caught his friend looking at him, and both turned away quickly.

Per the norm, Steve spent the hour after the movie finished yammering Bucky's ear off. Bucky simply listened with a quirked lip, pretending to be indifferent but utterly taken by Steve's passion. They made their way home, climbing the stairs of their apartment building to the roof.

"...and I just feel like-wow, I'm talking a lot," Steve said, embarrassed, "Did you like the movie? Shoulda asked that earlier, sorry, I-"

"No, no, don't be sorry," Bucky said quietly. His voice was tainted by sadness, a mourning of the man he could've been without this wonderful sin of love. "I liked it."

"I'm glad." Steve looked at Bucky with a smile, almost daring the man to look away. He didn't. Their eyes locked for what felt like an eternity, the sound of cars honking and women laughing on the street below fading away as the intensity of the moment sucked them both in.

Bucky wanted to get closer. Touch his friend, kiss him. Try to convey through his body just how much in love he was. But as much as he touted his hatred for oppressive societal norms, Bucky was chained by them. He was trapped underneath the crushing knowledge that his heart was sick, his mind tainted, and no matter how good this love felt, it was evil.

So it surprised even him when he leaned forward and kissed Steve.

It was shockingly intense, though chaste. Bucky simply shot forward, threaded a hand in Steve's hair and kissed him. Though the younger gasped at first in surprise, he quickly melted into the touch, sighing against Bucky's mouth. An endless moment of heaven later, they pulled apart, never speaking of it again.

Bucky wanted to. He thought of all the ways he could apologize, explain it away, but never took action. It was so much easier to just pretend things were normal, that they had never kissed and his deepest fantasy was never fulfilled. But things weren't normal, there was an invisible wall between the friends that could only be breached by addressing the elephant in the room.

A month passed like this, until winter was too present to ignore. An icy chill had taken hold of their home, only aided by the chilly interactions between Steve and Bucky. Most years, the boys would huddle up at night to stay warm. But this year, thoughts of how cold his friend had to be lulled Bucky to sleep each night.

Once more, however, Bucky's walls were broken down.

The heating in their apartment building was finnicky at best. So, of course, on the one day it was too cold to survive without it, said heating decided to stop working. 

_Mr. Baker will probably get it fixed sometime today,_ Bucky thought to himself, knowing full well it was a lie. Steve had disappeared that morning, going God knows where, leaving Bucky sitting at home by himself for once.

His thoughts were lonely company, but company nonetheless. Bucky sank into them, imagining a life where he could love with no limits and live in the warm. With a shiver, he realized that both were impossible dreams. No sane world would allow him to betray God in such a heinous way, no sane man would do anything but accept this and move on.

Bucky supposed he was a bit insane.

Because try as he may, Steve Rogers lingered on every thought. He had spent months ignoring it, shoving it into a deep hole in his mind, but this cold winter day brought truth to him-he was in love with Steve Rogers. And while God may forsake him and the world spit in his face, this fact would never become any less honest.

So what was the point of denying it?

That question haunted Bucky, still occupied him when Steve came home. "Hey," Steve grunted, before shivering a bit and disappearing into his bedroom.

Was Steve over it?

The thought hadn't crossed Bucky's mind until now. All those months, Steve had returned his affection with bashful enthusiasm. He had kissed him back on that night on the roof. But now...now there was nothing but cold words and grunts exchanged, none of the talks that continued til the sunrise or laughs so loud that the neighbors complained, nothing that made their friendship true. Nothing remained.

Bucky retired to his room that night morose.

Gosh, but it really was cold. Though Bucky gathered blankets around himself, pulled socks onto his feet and scrunched into a tight ball, he still felt like he was coated in a layer of frost. He thought of Steve-

Steve. Who was prone to illness, who was far smaller, who certainly was in danger of pneumonia and God knew what else right that second.

Pride and fear aren't much defense against unconditional love. With only a shaking breath of hesitation, Bucky stood. 

He considered knocking on Steve's door, but knew he would only be turned away. So he walked in, made his way slowly to the small bed where a little bundle shivered under a mound of blankets. _Here goes nothing,_ Bucky thought, before pulling back said blankets and climbing in.

Steve recoiled at first, scootching away from his friend with that signature stubborness. But the warmth their union brought was too damn good to ignore, and soon they held tightly to each other, doing everything they could to make every inch of skin touch.

"Your toes are like ice cubes," Bucky mumbled, getting a chuckle in reply. "Sorry," Steve whispered back, "Can't exactly help it."

Bucky held Steve tight to his chest, marveled at the feeling of bony arms around him and wondered how he got to damn lucky. Steve's face was buried in his neck, and while the man's entire body felt like it had been frozen for years, Bucky couldn't help but feel absolutely elated. That giddiness took a backseat to confusion, though, when Steve pulled his face away to look at Bucky.

"Are we...are we okay?"

Such a simple question. "I want us to be," Bucky said softly, "But I don't know how."

The tension was palpable, both longing to say the words that had been desperate to break free for months. Steve was the one to do it, brave as he was, swallowing before darting his eyes away to the side of the room. "I...I liked kissing you, Bucky."

"You..." Bucky smiled, relief and joy pulling the grin wider and wider. "I liked kissing you too, Stevie. I liked it a lot."

Steve returned the smile with a bite of his lip, and hesitantly leaned forward. Bucky happily met him in the middle, pressing their icy lips together and sighing. That's all it was, a kiss, but in that instant, it felt like so much more. It felt like a reunion, a beginning. A peaceful end to a long war. God's fury couldn't touch this simple moment of joy, this union that felt like it was sent straight from Him.

And when he finally pulled away, Bucky knew that he wouldn't have to wait before kissing Steve again.


End file.
